Everyone Lies

by Lori Gebbie

People tell lies all the time. It’s part of the coping mechanism we have to get from one day to the next. We settle for things, and make due because we don’t want to cause waves or alarm people around us. But the fact is, those lies are the things that damage us the most.

A few years ago, Robert and I were in a discussion, and he told me those words that everyone hates to hear. “I have something to tell you, sit down for a minute.” I took a seat, and waited, patiently. I had complete trust and faith in him, he was my husband, and my best friend. He said he’d lied about some things, and they were weighing on him, and had been for a number of years. As he started unburdening his lies, his face started relaxing. Years started pouring off of his features. They weren’t huge lies, just “truths” he’d told himself so many times that he believed they were so. The real reasons why he had taken actions on things, instead of the “story” he’d told everyone else. Our relationship was solid, he tried so hard to be the better man this time around. But as he went back in his life, his teen years, down to his childhood years, he fell to his knees with the stripping, and he became that child.

When he describes it, it was like he was immediately transformed into light and love, and he saw all of creation around him. He saw the stars, he saw the reasoning for existence, he saw all of truth. Like a brick wall slamming into him, he had instant knowledge of life. He could feel the earth breathing beneath him, he could see the movement of natural flow. He could hear people miles away in their homes, living their lives. He could defy the natural laws and do things I cannot describe here. It was a very magical time, in the true sense of the word “magic”.

For me, it was a different story. I felt the swoop, felt the pull, yet I was still anchored to this reality. I was his lifeline to this reality, and yet, I didn’t want to be. I wanted to go with him “full fare” on this ride. I wanted to experience this with him, but knew it wasn’t possible. Yet, we were more connected than I’d ever felt, I felt as if half of me was here, while the other half was floating away with him. I still had to deal with this reality, our bills, our meals, our day-to-day. He crumbled, he could no longer speak, could not communicate in anything but gibberish. But I heard his mind, I felt his heart. I knew what was happening, and I was excited for both of us. We connected to each other in such a deep and spiritual level, I cried because I knew others had no clue to the beauty I felt. And it was beautiful. It still is. I closed my eyes and saw the Universe, the stars, the “full scope”. I was in his mind, he was inside mine. We were One.

But, being the reality-based mind, I had to see things from the outside perspective. And it was frightening. I could have taken him to see a doctor, but drugs and therapy were not going to help him. This was a spiritual ride he was on, and he needed to feel it the way it was hitting him. So I took care of my husband. We had cleared our schedule of anything pending, we were both working from home at the time, so it was real easy to cancel outside appointments and push off friends, claiming we were swamped and working. But that also meant I had no help, no one to call on for advice, no one to help take care of my 6’4” 200 lb child. And he was a child. He wanted to touch, to feel, to experience things. I had to rein him in, to keep him safe from outside, to make sure no one would interrupt the epiphany. To be honest, his personality shattered into four distinct entities. I was able to talk to all of them, and together, we put him back to one solid front. But it was a good three months for him to be stable enough to be in the company of others, and even then, it was only for short periods. He was solid for about 2 hours at a time, before he went off on wonderment.

Oh, that wonderment was amazing! We had deep discussions, understood life, and floated among the stars. We felt completely connected, even to the point of communicating telepathically. We felt nature, felt life, felt love. We understood science and math and religion in a whole way. A complete way. We are artists, and felt inspired by the experience. We wrote about the new knowledge we had, and shared the good with as many as we could. We came up with our theory of Self Perpetuation Evolution, and live those rules. And it’s made us better people. We stay true to ourselves, first, then others. We see a more complete picture, because we don’t allow those lies to taint our views. And we are happy.

A lot of people criticize me for being harsh. And they call us “hard”. But the reality is, we’re good friends. To those who live responsibly, who take action, who want to grow and move forward, we are fully supportive. But if you are playing around, running a game, being deceitful, we’re harsh and swift. I do not apologize for this, whining is not allowed. Most see us as strange, odd, even a little scary. But that’s because they have so many lies wrapped into their lives, they only feel comfortable with like-minded people. We offer a mirror to look into. If you don’t like what you see, change it.

We would like to be extremely successful. We would like to have more freedom than we do. But not at the expense of our truth. Because we are happy, we can sleep at night. And we know the people around us are true and honorable.

I don’t share this for others to feel sorry for us, there is nothing to feel sorry for. This was a magical time, a time of light and love, truth and harmony. To be honest, we both want that time back, because it was so incredible. But it changed us. We no longer lie, not even the small ones to make others feel better. If something doesn’t sit with us, we discuss it. If we see someone wrong, we cut them from us. There is too much beauty in this life to surround ourselves with people who just don’t “get it”. We don’t maintain toxic relationships. You have to be true, responsible, and gracious for what you have. Material gain is not important if you compromise yourself. It’s just not worth that.

I don’t suggest others try to get to the point we hit, I don’t even know how to get back there ourselves. But we know living with pure hearts, we’ll get there eventually. And we understand our future, what we are going toward. What we have to look forward to after this life. And it’s exciting!

Taking the first steps

Often the first few steps in personal progress can be the hardest. It is never easy to step from the safety you know into a rush of unknown possibilities. The security and comfort that keep our inner selves safe can also be the one thing holding us back from greater potential just beyond the next hill or curve in our path. There are always risks; a person can never be assured that the next choice they make or steps they take will always be positive.

When there is potential for great success, there is always the risk of great failure. The manners in which we approach these possibilities help to determine what the outcome may be. When we move forward with optimism and a positive outlook, even in the face of disaster, a person can find lessons which may yield the keys to a future victory. Sometimes a person will suffer a dozen losses before they experience a single win, but without trying, even that one success will never be accomplished.

The lessons people learn from their past failures are often the stepping stones that lead to their future successes. Most of us have heard the age old adage “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”. If humanity had quit with every tragedy they encountered, it is doubtful our species would have developed or survived as long as we have. Experience and knowledge are gained by observing an attempt, and revising the things which went wrong against those that went right, then trying again. Few people or projects ever reach a stage of accomplishment without also overcoming a number of obstacles which stand in their way.

To move forward in life we must first be prepared to fail before we expect to succeed. I encourage everyone to seek and aspire greater in themselves and their life. The possibilities of the future far outweigh the struggles and disappointments that may be encountered in the journey getting there. Take the chance that you may fall a dozen times before you conquer the mountains that lay ahead. The rewards which await each of us are well worth the bruises and scrapes we may receive along the way.

Bridges to be crossed

By Robert Gebbie

Most people dream of a life filled with happiness and success, but the reality is few truly end up having the life they want to lead. Even when someone finds fulfillment in one aspect of their world, they will often find disappointment in many others. The journey from birth to death is often a struggle, the path ahead of us seems to always be filled with obstacles and impasses, and that is how it should be.

As much as even I hate to admit, if we began life with a contract and guarantee, few of us would ever make it beyond our living room couch. The things we struggle with most are usually the same things which lead us, as individuals, to our finest accomplishments and understandings. The greatest achievements of our species often come from learning to overcome that which causes us the deepest pain or dissatisfaction.

Little is ever gained without a purpose or reason for pursuing it. If our journey through life was absolute satisfaction, there would be little, if any, inspiration to carry ourselves forward, and the human race would have long ago become extinct. It is in our desire to have or become greater which give us, as individuals and a race, the purpose to move forward in all that we aspire to be. They say “a rolling stone gathers no moss”, yet by the same token a person who never moves becomes stagnant and dies. There are always bridges to be crossed. There will always be new adventures just up the road or around the next bend of life. Humans are creatures of great imagination and creativity, and our desire to achieve greater and greater heights in our existence give us the purpose we need to continue reaching forward from one day to the next.

If you did not have a goal to reach in your life or career, what purpose would you have for waking up each day? What need would you have for carrying forward? Who and where would you be if not for the lessons learned from overcoming the obstacles you have already faced?

Take a moment to pause and account for all the things you have already achieved, look back and acknowledge the progress and struggles you have overcome to get where you are today. There is a lot to learn from examining our personal failures, if we can look past our disappointment and see the true lesson. For all that we wish and desire to become there will always be a price to pay in getting there. Look to the future, remember that tomorrow presents endless opportunities to learn and grow. Have faith in yourself, find strength of will in the mountains behind you and carry forward to greater days ahead.

Faith and Evolution; The Keys to Personal Evolution and the Kingdom Ahead

Evolution is commonly described as a process of continuous change from a lower to a higher state. In human evolution it is often the genetic stages of change that are commonly thought of, such as the physical development from primitive to modern man. Perhaps our spiritual and intellectual evolution are also tied to the forward and ever changing progress of humanity as we journey from what we once were to what we will become. Most religious and spiritual ideals center on the belief of living our lives in a manner that allows us, on death, to transcend from the physical form to the ethereal. Perhaps like Humanity’s genetic and intellectual development, our spiritual journey has also been an evolutionary process of several thousand years, a progression of lessons leading to the present day. As our genetic progress changes the physical body, and the sciences change mankind’s perceptions and understandings, so should our personal spirituality develop as well.

Some of the key principals that have helped me grow and become the individual I am today can be simple in their concept, but nearly impossible in their execution. To look deeply within ourselves with honesty, and face the best and worst aspects of one’s self is never an easy endeavor.

The Keys
1. Honesty with self
2. Forgiveness of self
3. Evaluation of self
4. Strive to improve on self
5. Move on

1. Be Honest; only when you can be completely truthful with yourself can you remove obstacles from your Future Path. We often create false memories of experiences to justify actions or mask emotions. We may also re-arrange the events and experiences of our history to justify or avoid present day moral conflicts. Take responsibility for yourself in both thought and action. Accept that no one is perfect and that no person is always right or justified in the choices of their past. Eliminate the walls between the truth and the lies you can create to protect yourself from the emotions you fear to examine. Break down the barriers that block you from who you truly are.

2. Forgive Yourself; allow the failures of your past to be the lessons which build your future. Learn from poor choices, allow yourself to let go of the things you cannot change. Remove the burden of guilt, regret and missed opportunities, by forgiving yourself for not meeting your own expectations. When you hold on to the mistakes and poor judgments of your past, you add obstacles to your future journey, and a larger load of unresolved emotions to the weight you bear. Clear away the inner conflicts of your history and approach the future without the prejudices and burdens that your life experiences have caused.

3. Evaluate Often; be willing to adapt and adjust to the continually changing landscape of life. As you grow, your perspectives and expectations will alter. A frequent assessment of where you stand with yourself makes it much easier to determine the next step in becoming who you wish to be. Take every opportunity to re-center yourself on your goals and the path ahead of you. The better you know who you are, the more successful you will be in achieving positive growth.

4. Strive to improve; make a true and honest effort to grow and evolve. The reason for personal development is to become a greater you tomorrow than you are today. Be open to new ideas and concepts, you can spend a great amount of time and effort maintaining outdated ideas. Evolution itself means change in a positive manner, and to effect growth you must be open to accept and adapt to new information. Make a sincere commitment and take personal action in following a course that leads to a greater you.

5. Move on; build on both the positive and negative experiences that will occur in your journey forward. Allow every moment to be a chance to make positive change in You. You can make the decision, at any moment in your life, to be a greater and better Human in your future than you have been in your past. Leave your history behind and move on in your journey forward. Continue striving to become the Human you aspire to be.

After many years of applying this process again and again, constantly placing the burden of accountability and responsibility upon my own shoulders for the direction of my life, I had an epiphany. In my attempt to simply be a better individual and live up to my own personal expectations and truth, I accidentally opened a doorway that changed everything I thought I knew or believed. I now have a peace and happiness in my life that I have never known before. Because of my personal revelations, my wife and I now lead our lives by the philosophies and understandings that we gained from this experience.

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This will be our last “personal evolution” article for a few months as we begin a wonderful new creative adventure. Watch for our next blog post soon with a detailed announcement about our upcoming changes and plans.

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Slaying the Dragons Within

Everyone has battles they fight in their everyday life, such as family and job stresses. But what of the wars that rage within one’s own self? The ever-weighing scale between the things we know which are right, and the deeds we have done that are wrong. Even a young child knows when they act in a way that hurts others without cause. We can assume, with the rare exception, that most people recognize the basic concepts of good and bad.

We all start with the same scaled down version of the rule book. So where did humanity go so far away from following our own natural and true nature? What pains and injustices must we have suffered and forced on each other to steer an entire society so far from its course? Do we even care about the road our world takes in facing its future?

The true nature of the beast lies within. It is not always in the accomplishments, but the intent that our internal balance will weigh. At the end of the day, one should claim they have done their best or been the best person they can be. Any time people enhance or improve their inner self, they add to the advancement of our world as a result. From a small act of kindness extended to another, a multitude of people’s lives may be enhanced, like a tidal wave forming from a single drop of rain. The accumulated experiences of an individual’s life have much to do with creating the person they become; history has great influence over the path of the future. Often the unresolved fears and guilt of the past create the blocks that obscure people from a more peaceful and happy tomorrow.

Clear the roadway between who you are now and the greater individual you will be. The greatest truths awaiting discovery are within the things we already know, but often fail to understand. Woven within the experiences and observations of life are each person’s individual perspective of the truth. The goal is to tell our own selves the truth. The only thing standing between a person and their discovery of inner peace is the person themselves. While we react to exterior influences, we do have control over the person we are within.

Only three conditions need to be met for people to be happier and more peaceful individuals. Forgive yourself for the mistakes of your past, honestly identify the qualities that need improvement about yourself, and always move forward. Simple in concept, but almost impossible in application. Few people dare to brave the horrors of climbing deep into themselves and discover the glorious spirit that resides within. But a more peaceful and wonderful future awaits those who do!

Reality or Perception; Truth or (Dream, Smoke, Lie, Illusion)

A few days ago my wife Lori and I had a discussion that made me pause. The focus of this conversation was perception, the difference between an impression and reality both personally and professionally.
“You only get one chance to make a first impression”, a phrase most of us have heard throughout our lives, a statement that has become generally accepted by most of the world. But is it true or just an assumption? How much of what we have been trained to think or believe is actual, and how much an illusion that holds us from ever achieving the things we perceive beyond our reach or impossible?
I must admit I am guilty of this myself. More than a few times in my life, I have met people and made judgments about them personally or professionally that didn’t hold true in the end. People who have disappointed me because I had expectations of them that were not realistic as well as those who have far surpassed what I thought they were capable of. I am sure the Wright Brothers were told more then once to give up their fantasy of flight and to get back to reality fixing bicycles and printing presses in their shop.

If you have no dream, then what is there in life to achieve? What is left to accomplish?

Does your perception of yourself limit your possibilities; are you the largest roadblock in your life and profession?

Evaluate yourself often. Be honest in defining your strengths and weaknesses. It is much easier to develop a clear vision of what you wish to accomplish, when there is a solid understanding of where you are to start.

Define yourself, know who you are, be willing to learn and grow.

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